December rolls in

Now is the last month of the year 2005. And I have become someone who is an in-betweener. I am in between being hopeful and bitter. I am in between a romantic and cynic. I am in between calm and angry. I am in between stable and unstable.

November was a mess. I kept on getting sick, just like last year, which ranges from asthma to mild hypertension to gatrointestinal dysmotility. It is because of this I decided to file my resignation. If I keep on getting sick, I can't work properly.

So I filed my resgination to my new supervisor (yeah we changed coaches since our previous moody left the country and we ended up with a mild-mannered man) and he said NO. It was nice to be wanted but it got annoying eventually because no company has no right to stop their employees from resigning. Dammit, we have the right to resign you know. Be it a good employee or not if one wants to go, the company has to let that employee go.

So we reached a compromise. What happened was that my schedule wouuld be now changed from split shift to a regular shift. Effective? Today. I asked my supervisor three times if my schedule woudl be changed and he said it would. I spoke with the OM last week and said he would do so but when I saw my schedule last week I was livid. It was still on split shift and that is where I was being my pushy self and asked my supervisor three times about my schedule.

Then voila! I got the schedule I wanted. But this evening he told me that I can go in straight today. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?! That tomorrow I'm not going to?! Patayan na lang kaya tayo! Meaning why don't we kill each other already?! This is incosistent, dammit!

After an hour or so, I had a chat with my supervisor again and he said that if I have to be on straight shift permanently I may have to be moved to another team. I asked him if I can stay on his team until the end of this month, he said he'll have to speak to the Operations Manager (OM). I don't mind leaving the team but not right now.

I was asked if I wanted to come back to my old supervisor, I vehemently said no. I know they're best friends, but I have to be honest. I told him that I don't want to fight with him anymore. Nor do I want to go home angry. But then again he is the only person who had helped us so much in our lives at the expense of his health and reputation. Ayoko na mangyari ulit yun. He's done so much already.

But to who will I be assigned to? Most of the coaches I like are either gone or in another cluster. Who knows? I don't want to think about it anymore. Bahala na si Batman.